Saturday, December 30, 2006

New Year's Revolutions

As you could probably deduce from my previous post, New Year's (and the eve of) is not a huge deal for me. I guess it goes back some years to my friends from back home. There was a group of us that spent plenty of time together and going out was a huge part of it. The only time we actually stayed home was New Year's eve, which we referred to as: Amateur Night. Billy-Bob-Jim-Joe and cousin Skeeter would be out having a grand time and the reality was that they weren't having half the time my friends and I would have on May 3rd, or July 21, or Sept 13. Pick a date, any date at all. In addition, our nights tended to be roadblock free which, of course, helped the evening remain at a particular 'fun' level. We were just crazy like that.

The one thing that we did have in common with the rookies was the New Year's Resolutions. Since we all worked together, in the days leading up to January 1, conversations would inevitably turn to the resolutions and, for the most part, we were an honest group. Most of us would flat out say we had no intention of making any, several others would preface their resolutions with, "Now, I know this won't last but....," and there was always one or two who would say something bold like they were going to quit smoking or start working out. Any of us that had made one (or more) usually started out strong and, slowly, rotated back to the prior state of being before such nonsense was ever uttered. That's how we discovered the New Year's Revolution. When the end of the year rolled (no pun) around we would clarify if we were making a resolution or a revolution and the really hard ones were always (big shock) revolutions.

This year, I've decided to make a list of resolutions that I hope other people make:

1. I will not talk on the cell phone in line. Any line. Ever. Ever.
2. I will turn off my cell phone in the movie theater. Always.
3. I will not eat nachos in the movie theater. (Who the hell came up with the bright idea of selling nachos in a freakin theater anyway?)
4. I will not drive while talking on the cell phone (or eating nachos). Ever.
5. I will use my turn signals.
6. I will take the car keys away from grandma.
7. I will not read anything about Paris Hilton.
8. I will not let dad or grandpa wear socks and sandals (or dress like flags of other countries).
9. I will not forward chain email.
10. I will actually write a letter.

As for me, I realized a while back that true resolutions are a work in progress and the New Year is a chance to reaffirm your hopes for yourself. I make the same resolution each year: I hope I can talk less but say more.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Single Guy's* Guide for New Year's Eve

Welcome to the New Year's Eve Guide for guys like me!

Please allow me to define myself: I'm a single guy who doesn't drink, lives alone and I'm pretty sure that I've never read the sports section of any newspaper. Ever. To make matters worse, if I were to go in for a sport it would probably be cricket. I'm a nerd and proud. I have embraced my inner geek (and he's wearing a pocket protector). But wait, things were not always so. I was once a party animal - I've even shot pool (while drinking). Ha Ha! Thankfully, those days are behind me and I can now be the boring guy that I was meant to be and I no longer have to hide behind frivolity and inebriation. Free at last! Free at last (you get the picture)! Enough about me (for now).

So, if you're like me, you're more than alright with spending the evening at home, alone. Yes, I said alone. It doesn't have to be spent alone but it's fine if you do. Contrary to popular belief, getting laid on New Year's Eve is not required and is, henceforth, not the reason we celebrate 'labor day' nine months later. That myth was started by some guy who got extremely lucky and wanted to make others (me) feel bad.

Home. Alone. Now what? Now we do something fun and, no, it doesn't involve lotion. I suggest making some type of comfort food. It's the last night of the old year, so eat what you want, as much as you want and enjoy it. Unfortunately, a large number of guys have been doing that all year and that's why they're home. Alone. With the lotion.

The rest of the evening is open. My suggestion is to do something that you enjoy. If you feel the need for people and celebrities then by all means watch one of the New Year's Eve shows. That's not really my thing. Seeing Dick Clark depresses me and seeing Carson Daly really depresses me. If you're looking for something a little more exciting, you could tune in to the Discovery Channel for Expedition Everest. I think the show will be on all night and it has the potential to make you thankful that you are where you are (lotion or not). As for me, I'm sure I'll spend a little time reflecting on the past year (more on that later) and then I'll probably watch one of my favorite movies from the past year and possibly read a little before bed.

If all goes as planned, I'll go to sleep in 2006 and wake up in 2007.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

T - Minus 3 Days and Counting

Okay. So we're almost at the end of the year and that can only mean one thing: It's almost time for my 2ND Annual Single Guys* Guide to New Year's Eve!!

Now relax, I know you're thinking, "How'd I miss last year's guide?" and that's a great question but, unfortunately, the answer is a longer story than the one about the peanut butter in my underwear drawer (that-is-a-really-long-story). Let's just say that because of technical difficulties beyond our (my) control, most (all) of my previous posts were lost. That's the main (only) reason that I'm on Blogger now. So, if anyone has stayed with me since the beginning (Hi Mom!) then you already know how much fun this can be......I know I'm reaching but I'm okay with it.

I'll be spending the rest of the day making phone calls and looking into multiple options for the big night and you'll see the results tomorrow. I'm so excited!!!

*Guys like me (What'd you expect?)

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Tropical Holiday

So, blogging is supposed to reach it's peak in 2007. At least I'm not late.

I've been in Florida for some time now and, no matter how much I try, I still cannot get into Christmas. I go through all the motions: I close the blinds, set the air conditioner to 'Ludicrous Speed', get the room all dark and cozy and watch 'White Christmas' or 'It's a Wonderful Life' and it works great until I have to go outside. Then, it's a 'White Hot Christmas' and a 'Humid Life'. I'm actually relieved when it's over so I can stop pretending to be in the 'spirit'. I grew up in a state that has all four seasons unlike Florida that has only two: Hot and Not So Hot, and, believe me, the Hot season is much much longer than the Not So Hot season. Only people who were born and grew up here or on the planets Venus and Mercury can truly get into the Christmas frame of mind in this state. Oh, and, of course, this guy:

He's Mister Green Christmas
He's Mister Sun
He's Mister Heat Blister
He's Mister Hundred and One

He's too much!