Thursday, February 08, 2007

Neo-Hetero or maybe Retro-Hetero

It's a miracle!! Disgraced Rev. Ted Haggard is now certain that he's 'completely heterosexual.'

According to Rev. Tim Ralph, after three weeks (three whole weeks) of intensive counseling, Haggard has been cured of his desire to have sex with men and, I would guess, no longer smokes crystal meth (or other things). Rev. Ralph was one of the ministers who 'oversaw' Haggard's counseling.

"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing." You know, I can think of something else that's not a constant thing - maybe there's a connection.

Anyway, Ted's all better now and an oversight group recommended that he leave town and look into secular work. Since he likes 'acting-out' maybe he could be in the next 'Sinckers' commercial. I'm sure he'd have some 'fabulous' ideas of his own(not that there's anything wrong with that).

No comments: