Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Plan "B" From Outer Space

Okay, if I had to imagine two headlines that I'd never, ever see, one would be, "Paris Hilton Awarded Nobel Prize for Physics," (or any other Nobel prize) and the other would be, "Astronaut to be Charged with Attempted Murder." Maybe Paris has a chance, after all.

It seems Lisa Marie Nowak (Navy Capt. & Astronaut) was arrested after driving close to 1000 miles (wearing diapers for no pit stops) to intercept Colleen Shipman (Air Force Capt.) arriving at Orlando International Airport. Apparently, Nowak (married with three kids) had romantic inclinations toward fellow astronaut William Oefelein (Navy Cmdr.) as did Shipman. I'm guessing that Nowak found out about Shipman and 'went into orbit' over it and decided to 'take off' after her. Shipman was returning to her car in the long term parking lot and noticed a woman (Nowak wearing a black wig) in a trench coat following her. Shipman hurried to her car, (hearing Nowak running up behind her) got in and was able to lock the door before Nowak reached the car. At that point Nowak 'launched' into a story about an emergency and needing to use a cell phone. When Shipman slightly lowered the window, Nowak sprayed pepper spray into the car prompting Shipman to 'rocket' off to the parking attendant to contact the police.

When arrested at a bus stop waiting to return to the airport, Nowak was carrying a black bag containing a steel mallet, a 4 inch folding knife, a BB gun, 3 feet of plastic tubing and several plastic bags and the wig was discovered in a nearby trash bin. When police searched her car they discovered a love letter to Oefelein, latex gloves, e-mails between Shipman and Oefelein and directions to Shipman's residence.

I could understand if Story Musgrave was smacking some Flat-Earther around but this Nowak is a real 'space cadet.' I hope she realizes the 'gravity' of her situation. I'm also curious as to how many more of these NASA love triangles are going on.


Chris said...

I thought NASA did major pyscological testing of all their astronuts?

John Taylor said...

hi chris
They do - maybe this is just another example of their 'above and beyond' - if they're going to take crazy - they want only the craziest and, you know, the word 'lunatic' comes from the Latin 'luna' for moon. maybe they were preparing for the return trip.